The toughest job you will ever love.

During our Christmas shopping trips, I have noticed quite a few babies out there these days!  Young mothers that are trying to get through the grocery store with a fussy baby or demanding toddler and I think, "Wow, I am glad I don't have babies anymore!"  But yesterday in the grocery store I realized it doesn't matter what age your child is, parenting is hard!

Someone said that when you become a parent your heart lives outside of your body.  So very true.  And when they are young, YOU are responsible for their comfort, health, decisions, education, happiness, etc.  You get through the sleepless nights and the rushed mornings, the soccer games, football games, band practice schedules and all the other things that go along with raising a child thinking, "This is going to get easier!"

Here's the thing...it doesn't.  Because when your children grow up, you don't get your heart back.  It always lives with them.  Only now, the problems get bigger.  You feel every success and every failure.  As they move into adulthood you want to protect them from bad choices, but you can't.  You can no longer hold their hand to make sure they don't fall when they are learning to walk.  You have to let them walk out into the world without you, and you have to watch them fall.  And it will break your heart.  But you also get to watch them grow into the people you prayed to God they would become.

The interesting perspective I get to have, at the age of 54, is that I now understand that my mothers heart is still with me!  And I see her feel all my pain, all my joy, all my frustration...but don't worry mom, your heart is safe with me.

   

Anticipation!

As we got into bed last night Mike had a big smile on his face and he nearly skipped up to the bed.  I asked him why he was so excited and he said, "The kids are coming for Christmas!  We are going to have so much fun!"  Mike can be really funny but he is rarely giddy.  He is giddy these days. 

We did some Christmas stocking shopping yesterday which is the shopping we love best at Christmas.  And this year we have a new daughter-in-law, Lilly, who has never really experienced a family Christmas.  It is a wonderful thing when we get to add another stocking to the fireplace at the cabin!  I selected it really carefully which was a challenge because I don't know Lilly very well (she and Eric eloped this summer and they live in Kansas.)  But we are determined to show Lilly just what kind of nutjob family she has married in to!

The best part of Christmas for us (and probably for most empty nesters) is having all the kids together for just a little while.  We play board games, watch the same Christmas movies and usually go sledding.  This Christmas there may not be any snow so we will go on a Christmas picnic with a campfire and hotdogs and smores.  Eric and Lilly are coming home in just two weeks and we can't wait to see them!

Christmas preparations differ for Mike and I.  I buy decorations and get the kids new pajamas.  Mike buys tracer bullets!  He and the kids love to go out on a snowy night and shoot green and red tracer rounds into the snow.  Ahhh, the simple joys of a redneck Christmas!

Wow, Nice Outfit!

As I have posted earlier, we live in a multi-generational house.  Mike and I, my mother, and our daughter are all living in the same house.  There are a lot of benefits to this arrangement.  We take care of each other, share expenses, look after each others animals, etc. 

There are also some downsides.  Mike would say the biggest one for him is he always has to be clothed.  He is comfortable with my mom, but not comfortable enough to sit around the house in his underwear.  This has led to some interesting outfits though!  The other night he had just gotten a camo hat he had ordered in the mail from what I called "the ugly hat store".  One of those "boonie" hats in the German camo pattern that he likes.  So, he went into the kitchen wearing his new hat, his gray and black camo pajama pants and a red plaid button down shirt.  He was certainly "stylin'!  All mom could say was "nice outfit."  (Mike hadn't expected anyone to be in the kitchen.)

Then, of course, there are the times when you have your mouth all set for something you left in the fridge only to find someone else got to it first.  When the kids were younger Mike would write "Don't even think about it!" on food he put in the fridge.  It rarely stopped them.

We also run into some issues with the thermostat!  My mother is in her late 70's and has no fat left on her body since her last bout of cancer.  To her, 80 degrees is chilly.  We had to compromise on the living room temperature for the summer (78 degrees).  Fortunately, and I recommend this to any family thinking about sharing a house with an elderly parent, we have zoned heating and air-conditioning.  Mom has her zone, our daughter has hers and we have ours.  Even now, mom is the only one who has had her heater running.
She and I went to the cabin this summer for a weekend together.  It was raining and 70 degrees (which I find to be a delightful temperature in the middle of the summer!)  She and I sat out on the deck for about 30 minutes and then she went inside, covered herself with an electric blanket and plugged in a space heater 2 feet from her chair!  It took her 2 hours to "thaw out".

So if you are thinking about combining homes with elderly parents just remember to be ready to forgive, forget, and find the funny in everything! 

Guilty Pleasures

I have a confession to make.  Mike and I are addicted to Alaska reality shows on TV.  Alaska State Troopers, Yukon Men, Buying Alaska, they fascinate us!  Why?  I have no idea why!  They are just like all the other redneck shows...only frozen and with better scenery!

However, I CAN say we have learned many things from these shows.  First, we never want to live in a place where we are not at the TOP of the food chain.  That is not the case in Alaska.  Second, we do not want to live in a place where you pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a home that has no indoor bathroom...again, not the case in Alaska!  Third, we want to be able to walk down the road or sit on our porch without having to use a gun.  Actually, from what we can tell, no one has the time or inclination to sit on their porch in Alaska.  In the summer they are too busy preparing for winter by cutting wood and hunting for food.  In the winter the snow is over the porch and up to the windows so...no sitting on the porch!

On "Yukon Men" the danger these people face every day is amazing.  I would imagine it keeps them on their toes...but I don't want to be on my toes.  It looks exhausting!  I just can't imagine living  in a place where you need FIFTEEN cords of wood to survive the winter!!  I like a little snow around Christmas, and then it can just go away!  Not in Alaska.

A co-worker here at the station used to live in Alaska.  She told me a story about how she had just washed her hair one winter morning and discovered her comb was in her car.  So she just ran out to the car to get it.  When she opened the car door it banged against her long hair and broke a big chunk of her hair off!  Her hair had frozen solid in the few seconds it took her to run to the car!  Ummm...no thanks!

So we will admire those who fight daily to live in Alaska from our couch in Texas, where we are warm and at the top of the food chain.  At least we think we are.

"Keeping Christmas"

We get our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving day at our cabin in New Mexico.  So the day after Thanksgiving is my day to "deck the halls" which is more exhausting every year!  Anyway, as I was lighting the tree and unwrapping all my treasured ornaments (including the ornaments the kids made with their pictures in them over the years) I was thinking about the term "Keeping Christmas" from Dickens' "A Christmas Carole" and that made me think of a friend of mine.

Just before we left for Thanksgiving I was having a conversation with her.  She and I are about the same age and are in the same "season" of our lives.  However, she has never married because she learned early not to trust her taste in men.  She was talking about how much comfort she gets from an electric blanket when she is curled up at home.  She decided that she was going to go out on Black Friday and buy some electric blankets for the elderly in our community.  She could imagine how much comfort they would get from the warm gift.

My friend (who I will not name because it would embarrass her) is not wealthy.  She is saving for her own retirement. She has never had a new car in all the years I have known her.  She has to be frugal, shop carefully and rarely eats out.  And her way of "Keeping Christmas" is not decking the halls, it is making sure that someone else is warm. 

There are lots of ways to celebrate the Holidays.  We all have our own traditions, favorite foods, favorite decorations, etc.  But how nice it would be to sit curled up on Christmas morning, wrapped and warm in your electric blanket and know that there are others wrapped up and warm because of you.  THAT is the "Keeping Christmas" I aspire to!  It doesn't take a lot of money to impact someone's life for the better.  Sometimes all it takes is a conversation.

I don't know how to do this show!

We were on our way to the Show Of support Banquet when we heard the news.  It took a minute to register.  A train hit the parade float?  What?  How is this possible?  You know, all the questions that go through your head when something so impossibly awful happens. 

We went home, stunned and heartbroken.  Thinking of the soldiers who had survived a war and died in a parade in Midland.  Neither one of us could sleep.

When I got to work at 5am I just sat in my chair across from Mike and said "I don't know how to prep this show!"  It was like the day after 9-11 for us.  What to say?  What to do?  The Show of Support Military Hunt means so much to us!  Seven years ago, our son made his committment to serve in the military at the banquet.  Something profound that one of these wounded warriors said just sparked something in him and he joined ROTC the next day at Midland Freshman School. 

After 4 years in ROTC he graduated from Midland High and went into the Army.  He is a trained Cavalry Scout Sniper in Fort Riley, Kansas.  ROTC really helped get Eric through High School. 

We decided that if we were grieving so was everyone else in the Permian Basin!  We parked the truck out front, I grabbed Kelley's jacket from her office (I didn't wear one to work) and what happened over the next 11 hours was an outpouring of sadness, disbelief, horror...and love.  What an amazing community we live in! 

Thank you for rising to the occasion and helping us raise nearly $48,000 for these soldiers and their families.  Thank you for crying with us and letting us cry with you.  Thank you for getting out of your cars and giving me hugs (hugs that I desperately needed!)  But most of all, thank you for always praying for those men and women who protect this BIG family we call America! 

Dr. Doolittle

It never ceases to amaze me how animals just love Mike!  So much so that family and friends call him Dr. Doolittle.  He gets his deep love of animals and birds from his mother.  She really loved to watch the birds and always had a lot of feeders out on their property for them.  I have run across old pictures of him feeding a squirrel peanut butter when he was a boy!

When we screened in our deck at the cabin, we had to make sure some of the screens could open so he could fill his bird feeders.  It is the first thing he does when we get to the cabin, no matter how late it is when we arrive.  I have watched wild birds land on his hands and eat seeds out of his palm.  I have seen hummingbirds land on his fingers!  It is really amazing.

Then there are the deer!  He has several generations of deer that come to the cabin and literally look in the windows or screen door waiting for him to come out and feed them apples.  They also eat out of his hands, even the big bucks!  He always says we can't have a mounted deer head over the fireplace because one of his deer might look in the window and say "Oh God, there's uncle Frank!"

At home in Midland, every dog and cat in the house will find its way to Mike when he is sitting down.  He becomes a "pet mattress".  We have 3 dogs and 5 cats and they all love Mike.  And he is always willing to scratch a head or rub a belly.  And whenever he walks into a store that has a "store pet" it is the first thing he goes to and they follow him around the store until we leave.  He has a strange gift.  Another legacy from his mother, Maisie.  I am sure it still makes her smile.

The best part of our day!

The question that we are asked most often (after "are you guys married?") is "How early do you guys get up?"  4:15 AM.  That is the middle of the night no matter how many years we have been doing this!!  And there is never a morning that we just bounce out of bed ready for work.  Nope.  It takes a while to really wake up that early.  I do NOT envy those of you who get up early and have to handle heavy machinery!

Mike is ready in about 5 minutes.  He lays out his clothes the night before.  He shaves the night before as well because he learned early in his morning radio career that putting a sharp blade to your throat at 4:15 in the morning is NEVER a good idea!  After he goes to work I have my 20 minutes in the bathroom to get ready.  I learned from Mike to set my clothes out the night before as well.  And I put on what I picked out even if I don't feel like wearing it anymore.  No changing minds at 4:15 am because nothing good can come of that!

I get to the station, get a cup of really strong coffee, head upstairs to the studio and start show prep.  I go through two country music news services, the newspapers, many internet sources (including one in Great Britain because they are some crazy people!)  I find our Knuckleheads, Breakfast Braniac trivia question, my news kicker stories, etc.  Mike is getting news and weather from CBS 7 plus getting the technical stuff done on his side of the room (most of which I have no idea how to do or even what it is).  We talk very little until we actually start the show. 

By this time it is 5:50 am and we are ready to go.  For the next 4 hours we just have fun.  No matter what else is going on here at work or at home...when we are in this studio and talking to you we are having fun!
THIS is the best part of our day.  The second best part is going to bed.

Dogs, Cats and Teenagers

I read somewhere that when your kids are young, they are like dogs.  Always wanting your attention, grateful for everything you give them, ready to go anywhere and do anything with you.  Then when they become teenagers they become cats.  You make suggestions and they just stare at you.  When you want them to go somewhere with you, they can't be found.  They want nothing to do with you unless they need petting (money).

Our oldest son, Adam, has always been so much smarter than his parents.  And so, when he lost his sense of humor around the age of 13 he just became a know-it-all.  He got it back at about 19 and now he is delightful!  He is still smarter than his parents, but he doesn't hold it against us.  Eric is now, and has always been, a breed apart.  Always a dog, never a cat.  But a big, hard to handle dog that gets into the trash and brings nasty things in from the yard.  THAT kind of dog.  Always wanting to do what would get praise from us, but knocking a lamp off the table with his big wagging tail.  Loveable, and a little dangerous.

Now, when it comes to our daughter Rachel we passed 14, 15, 16 and 17 years of age without her changing into a cat.  I was beginning to think  MY daughter would never go through the cat stage!  I have heard from many mothers of daughters that I was fooling myself.  And I was.  My 18 year old baby girl is now a cat.  She lives at home, but I go days without seeing her.  In fact, there are very few Rachel sightings these days.  Her room is right off the kitchen, so she makes late night forays for food.  In fact, we know she is alive because the food keeps disappearing!  Occasionally, we find a shopping list has been slipped under our door in the middle of the night.  She came out and purred when she needed a new computer and then was gone again.

I know from experience that my daughter will become a dog again someday.  I hope so, I miss her. 
   

Psychics...real gift or just good guessers?

I have talked to a few psychics in my time.  Well...three actually.  But they were truly remarkable!  The first was a woman named Gwen.  A Canadian who told me (on the phone) that she saw me with a little girl who was just like me.  That was when I was pregnant with Eric, and Mike and I knew we would NOT be having another child!  I told her that I knew my baby was a boy.  She said "Oh I see him too!  But there WILL be a little girl just like you!"  Two years later there was Rachel.  And she WAS a surprise!!

Then another psychic that Mike and I had on the show years ago named Ron Williams.  He told me about our cabin, about my mother moving to Midland and about our move to Kicks99.  Years before these things happened.

And just once, at a Christian women's conference in Abilene, we had a session with some of the women who had been given the gift of Prophecy.  I stood with 100 other women in a large room, praying.  I was specifically praying "Lord, I know there are a lot of women going through really hard times right now...but I just need a word from you Lord."  When I opened my eyes, one of the women was standing at the end of my row, pointing to me and saying "The Lord tells me you need a Word."  Wow!  And I was told remarkable things by these women, and they have been coming to pass, in the Lord's time of course!

Now, Mike's sister Michele went to Detroit last week to visit a phychic with a friend.  Michele has been struggling really hard with the loss of their mother, as have we all.  And the psychic not only told her that her mother was always with her, but spoke in phrases and used words that were so unique to Maisie!  It gave Michele some peace knowing her mother no longer suffered and was still telling her to get married!

So, my experience is that many psychics truly have a gift from God.  But always pay attention to that inner voice that God has given all of us.  If He tells you to, run!!

Wisdom From Our Soldier.

Okay, I will admit that I did not vote for this President.  But that does not mean he is not my son's Commander In Chief as he reminded us all in a Facebook post after election day.  His words reminded me again of what he is doing and how committed he is to his United States Of America! 

Eric is a member of the 4-4 Cavalry at Fort Riley, Kansas, a part of the 1st Infantry Division "The Big Red 1".  And he (and fellow soldiers fighting for our country) reminded me of a few things we tend to forget when we get caught up in who won and who lost.  Eric said, and I am paraphrasing here:

"Before you start saying things like "America is doomed" you need to think about those who are currently fighting for America every day in places like Afghanistan.  You diminish what the American Soldier is doing every day to make sure you are safe in America.  I get paid very little to get up every morning, very early, and go to bed very late (if at all) to do what my country asks of me.  This county has survived lots of hard times, yet we always pull through!  You need to have the same faith in America that we do.  I will give my life to defend America from all enemies, foreign and domestic.  All we ask is that you continue to be as proud of this country as we who serve it are!"  Wow, busted!

This Sunday is Veterans Day and another American has asked that we "recognize the valor and sacrifice of our veterans" on that day.  "Their sacrifices have helped secure more than two centuries of American progress, and their legacy affirms that no matter what confronts us or what trials we face, there is no challenge we cannot overcome, and our best days are still ahead.  On days like this, we are called to reflect on immeasurable burdens that have been borne by so few.  We pay tribute to our wounded, our missing, our fallen and their families - men and women who have known the true costs of conflict and deserve our deepest respect, now and forever."- President Obama. 

So, my soon-to-be 21 year old son, a proud American, taught me something about citizenship.  Thank you for the reminder Eric. And thank you to all our veterans and those who are serving now.  I am a proud American.  And am always, the proud mother of an American Soldier!

Raising Mom

I went to lunch with a co-worker the other day and ran into an aquaintance who was eating lunch with her mother.  She is now taking care of both of her parents who are living with her.  Our neighbors behind us are an older mother and her grown daughter.  It would seem that we are returning to multi-generational homes!

When my mother's husband died in 2000 my brother, Troy, and I went up to Kansas City and fixed up their condo (it sold in three days!) and packed her up and moved her to Midland.  She moved into a house just down the alley from ours.  It was great to have her so close.  She would walk down the alley at 5am and stay with the kids, get them up and off to school for us.  Mike and I could never have helped get Kicks 99 off the ground without my mother being so close and so willing to watch Eric and Rachel at a moments notice!

At some point, Mike and I knew it was time to combine households with her, so we sold our home, had a great estate sale, added another master suite onto her home and moved in.  Less than a year later she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and we could never have taken care of her and her pets if we were not sharing a house.  I think it was God that spurred us into joining households.

Mike and the kids have had to be patient with both of us.  Rachel got a text from my mother one day when she was home alone with her that said  "fln on dwy hlp" or something to that effect and she ran through the house until she found mom on the driveway and took her in to bandage her up.  One day recently I was in the kitchen and mom walked in from the garage with a brand new axe that she had just bought!  Mike quickly jumped up to help with using the axe to chop out some roots out front.  When he handed it back to her he said "OK Lizzie Borden, here's your axe back!"  He knew an axe and my mom was not a good combination!

Mom taught Rachel how to drive so Rachel now drives like a very cautious old woman.  Not a bad thing for a teenager!!  And my mom taught ME everything.  How to be independant, how to think for myself, how to write.  She put me through college and has supported me in everything I have done.  We fight, we cry, we laugh, we take care of each other...we are a family.     

Thank God for the Holidays!!

I think it is so amazing that God creates "Those Who Love Christmas", "Those Who Tolerate Christmas" and, of course, "Those Who Would Rather Sleep Through Christmas."

I am a lover of all things Christmas!  It is not because of the special Christmases I had as a child, because they weren't.  My mom tried, God knows.  But she is a "tolerator" and not a "lover" of the Holidays.  She did what she had to, but not with real enthusiasm.  So when I was about 8 or 9 I took over!  I decorated the tree, house, wrapped nearly all the presents (except my own) baked the cookies, etc.  I LOVED "White Christmas" and "Holiday Inn".  I still do.

When we decided on colors for the cabin...I chose red and green!  I have green kitchen cabinets and red dishes.  I have red and green chairs around the big pine table.  I think you get the idea.  I don't dare go into Hobby Lobby before December because I will spend an entire paycheck in there by September 15th!

 All Christmas decorating is done at the cabin.  We learned years ago that we cannot have a tree here in town because we have 5 cats.  Cats who love to climb trees.  The snow villiages go up at the beginning of November. Then we go out every year on Thanksgiving day and hunt down the "perfect" Christmas tree to cut down.  And decorating madness takes me over while my family watches in bewildered amazement (or amusement...I am still not sure).

These days, as our children leave our nest one by one, Christmas means so much more then it ever has.  It means our oldest son Adam, and our lovely daughter in law Sara (who live in Fort Worth) come home.  Our soldier Eric and his new bride Lilly are coming in from Fort Riley, Kansas for two weeks!  We will go sledding, and play games, and watch Christmas movies, and laugh, and eat.  And all my babies will sleep under the same roof with us for a few sweet days.  These are the Christmases I dreamed of when I was a girl.  This is Peace and Joy!  Thank you Lord.

Skunked!!

Mike and I went up to the cabin this weekend in order to cut and split wood in preparation for the coming winter.  We split exactly one piece of oak, but that doesn't matter, it is not the point of my story. 

Our little terrier, Sadie, who is not afraid of ANYTHING (except the vacuum cleaner) loves to chase the deer, turkeys, racoons and foxes.  She is so good at guarding the house that when we had a bear last year, she was the first to alert us to its presence.  She was barking up a storm and I looked out the window and she was about 5 feet away from a black bear eating the deer corn! 

Anyway, we thought nothing of it when she suddenly whined to go out on Friday night.  We let her out to chase what we thought was the racoon that has been getting to our bird feeders.  When Mike let her in about 10 minutes later it was a VERY smelly Sadie that came in!  She dived for her blanket on the couch and started rubbing her face all over it.  Mike and I took one whiff and knew...she had sniffed the wrong skunks butt!

In her defense, we do have two black and white cats at home, Mork and Mindy, that she pesters constantly.  So I would imagine she just thought this was another black and white kitty.  How wrong she was.  I had just happened to watch a special on skunks on the Discovery Channel a little while ago and they said the best thing to do if your pet gets skunked is to wash the animal in Dawn.  The skunk scent is actually an oily spray and Dawn will cut the oil and the smell faster than anything else.

I have heard people use everything from beer to tomato juice to baking soda and peroxide.  We used Dawn...over and over and over and over again.  At least until our eyes stopped watering and our noses stopped burning.  The bad thing is, from the first day we had Sadie she has slept in our bed with us.  Mike and I actually call her "Celibacy Dog" because she sleeps between us in bed.  So after her looooooooong bath, I rubbed some Burt's Bees honey lotion on her and she actually smelled better!  Or maybe we were just getting used to the smell.

She has had a bath or two since we returned from the cabin on Sunday...but I still don't nuzzle her neck.  Wow, that must have been one startled skunk!  Whew!!

An ice pack for Mike please!!

We have three wonderful rescue dogs from the Lonestar Sanctuary for Animals in Midland.  My mother's dog, Maggie, who is a miniature dacshund.  My dog Sadie who is a little terrier mix. And just a few weeks ago, we let our daughter Rachel pick out a dog for herself.  She chose a little whippit mix that she named Fern.  All three dogs are wonderful, small, loving pets. 

Mike's dog is actually a cat named Bob.  He is more dog than cat and is completely devoted to Mike.  I would like to add, the first words Mike says in the morning are not to me...no, they are to Bob.  He and that cat nuzzle and cuddle before Mike gets ready for work.  He doesn't talk to ME until we start the show!! Just sayin'.

Anyway, Rachel's dog Fern is a loving, sweet little dog who truly loves Rachel completely.  However, when Rachel is off at college or work, Fern turns into "The Amazing Testicle Seeking Beast"!  I swear I have seen that little dog jump from 5 feet away and land right on Mike's lap!  She also has amazing timing!  She waits until Mike is looking at his phone and then whoosh...she is airborne and landing squarely on Mike's testicles!

Mike is used to being an animal mattress.  He can't sit down in the living room without virtually every animal in the house seeking him out as a warm place to sleep.  But Fern doesn't have an "off" button that we can find and she has decided Mike's lap is just the place to dance so she does, alot!

So I am going to get him some iron underwear...and an ice bag. 

A Dream Come True

It was Memorial Day weekend, 2004, when Mike and I saw the cabin for the first time.  I was born and mostly raised in Colorado.  I had always dreamed of a mountain home. A cabin like my grandmother's in northern Colorado (only with indoor plumbing!)  My mother and I had been looking in the Cloudcroft, NM area for awhile with a great agent, Donna, but had not found one that was exactly right.  I wanted a cabin that looked like a cabin!

When we got out of the car and stood looking at what was to become our mountain home, we heard a voice from inside say, "Hold on a minute, let me put my pants on!"  I think that is what sold Mike on the spot.  I just know he was thinking "At last, a place where I can sit around without my pants if I want to!"

From the outside it looked rustic!  Rough log sided, stone steps leading up to the door, a great big deck, lots of windows and built into the side of the mountain.  I loved it.  Inside, however, it looked like 1969.
Lime green indoor-outdoor carpet, lime green linoleum floor in the kitchen, lime green macrame blinds on the windows. Wow, it was ugly!  Then we started to notice that all the outside corners in the cabin were clad in stripped and varnished pine logs. The walls were red fir. The living room had windows on 3 sides. It had a loft that could fit 3 queen sized beds and was equipped with a half bath!  Wow, it was great!

Over the years, it has become the place where we have gathered as a family and spent terrific holidays.  It is where we have grown closer to our children and each other.  It is where we feed deer, watch movies, and sleep with all our children under the same roof at least once a year.  It is where I sought refuge to cry for 48 straight hours alone when my mother was in the hospital for 9 weeks with pancreatic cancer.  And again when she was going through chemo and radiation for throat cancer a few years ago.  It is where we can always find peace, joy and love.  It is a dream come true.